Did I really say that understanding eyelids is the key to a healthy relationship? Yes, I did.
When I teach face reading, I spend a great deal of time explaining the significance of the eyelids. We have a tendency to be attracted to our opposite and when the relationship is new and fresh, those differences are exciting, energizing and even awe-inspiring. When the novelty wears off those attractive traits are annoying, stress-producing and exasperating.
Eyelids have a lot to do with the time it takes to respond. One extreme trait is the eyelid that is exposed. That means that when the eye is open, you can see much of the eyelid and have a lot of space for makeup. This is someone who is the Nike ad: “Just do it!” They like direct action and don’t spend a lot of time analyzing their feelings. Their goal is to act as directly, swiftly and effectively as possible. Sometimes they may appear ruthless because of their directness.
The other extreme is the person who has epicanthic folds. The epicanthic fold is the fold of flesh which covers the upper eyelid. The eyelid goes up into the eye socket and the flap of skin is all that shows. This is someone who needs to think, intellectually justify and process information before responding. It may appear, at first, that they are not listening to you because they are not immediately commenting. They are thinking and if pressured to make an instant decision they will often simply tell you what they think you want to hear.
My husband and I are textbook opposites when it comes to eyelids. When my eyes are open, I have a lot of eyelid showing. I can put makeup on the lids, in the creases and still have room to spare. My husband on the other hand, has epicanthic folds. His eyelids go up into the eye socket.
Before we had this valuable information about facial structures,we drove each other crazy! I would present an idea or question and want an instant response or answer. I would be met with silence, which I took personally. I didn’t think he was listening or cared to answer. I was SO WRONG. He was thinking. I wasn’t giving him enough time to absorb what I said. As a result, he would often tell me what I wanted to hear, just to get me off his back. Off I’d go in a huff.
With the knowledge of the eyelid trait and how each one functions, we now have respect for each others’ timing when it comes to decision making. I still would like an instant answer but I am more interested in getting an honest reply. I will say to my husband, “How much time do you need to think about it before you can give me an answer?” He now has the opportunity to think, justify, research and question before giving a considered response.
The two eyelid structures and their functions can be compared to Aesop’s fable of the hare and the tortoise. Each one has a different response time and speed of action. As life has taught us, learning takes place when we are presented with opposing points of view, challenging situations and people who are different that we are. Opposites attract because they can be a tremendous team, sharing complementary skills!
To all people in sales:
To make a sale with a client who has epicanthic folds, give them the opportunity to process all of the information, brochures or research that you are presenting.
Open your appointment book and say, “I’ve given you a lot of information. Could I get your phone number and call you in two days to answer any questions that you might have?” They will be very appreciative and will probably want to work with you because you have respected their need for time to assimilate and question the information received.
For more information on facial structures, their function and how they relate to relationships and to order my book, It’s In Your Face – The True You Revealed, go to my website: http://itsinyourface.com